Andromeda's Twilight
by itsneonblack
Summary: Hayden, a vampire-like girl, stumbles upon the Cullens in a time when she is desperate for friends, shelter, & her life. She tries to deal with her past but there's darkness to it. This is her story...  Some swearing & serious theme.
1. Preface: I Knew What has to be Done

Andromeda's Twilight

By Ladeebug59

* * *

Preface

How could I have let this happen? I had every chance. I could have killed Dr. Lewis any day and made my escape. But yet my instincts told me no. Now, I thought to myself, why not? I was strong enough. I wasn't a coward. That bastard didn't think that I was smart enough. And maybe I wasn't. That's why he didn't think too much of it. But I was smart enough now; and I had put all these other lives in danger.

Of course, they all mustn't have liked me from the beginning anyway. I was a burden, their household annoyance, the unexpected problem. They would be glad to be rid of me, I was sure of it.

I could handle it. He had ruined my life since the beginning. Made me what I am. Kept me in the basement/laboratory my entire life. Didn't even let me see sunlight. Made me his little slave. Now, what kind of life is that? I'm smart enough that I know the real answer now. No playing around anymore. I know what has to be done.


	2. Chapter 1: It was Supernatural

Chapter 1

What am I even doing? I wondered in my head as I stopped to sniff at rabbit scent on a tree. I wasn't very worried though, about where I was going. Just being outside and surrounded by so much other amazing things kept most of the space in m mind. I knew that the smell should send my throat scorching, but it didn't. I could tell that it smells woodsy and delicious, like a hot dog cooked over a fire, but I personally didn't find it appetizing at all. Instead, I found the smell rather pleasant. I drank it down my throat, until I was bored with it, and then I continued to find more scents to chase after.

Of course, I wasn't completely goofing off either. I had to find some sort of shelter to live in, maybe go into a police station and say that I had lost my memory and that I didn't know where I lived… or stumble upon an orphanage and ask that I live there because I had nowhere else to go. But I was too different… they would know that something was deeply wrong with me and find out I wasn't completely human. I would have to live on my own….

But this was also the first time in my life I've ever been able to go outside. All the smells and animals were overwhelming! I was able to run so fast I was a blur to every human eye. It was just amazing.

While I stopped to enjoy a fascinating sight of a bird feeding her babies, (albeit a little gross) I heard something whip past me. Immediately I knew it wasn't human; it was supernatural.

As I realized this threat, a special kind of adrenaline filled my body that made me freeze. I didn't move as much as a statue. And if I saw any kind of movement, I would run away as fast as I could. (Which, trust me, is very fast.)

As the stranger whipped past me again, leaving my auburn hair a breeze into my face, my eyes scanned the area. I couldn't see anything. Nobody, not even any animals. But I could hear their heartbeats, and my own, thudding spastically within their chests.

This time I was prepared. As soon as I heard the air do a somersault from the upturned air next to me, I ran the opposite way. I can run faster than any earthly animal. I was the ultimate being; no one, except maybe one of somebody like me, could outrun me or even catch up. But as I was streaming through the air, prepared to run to Mexico if I needed to, another person stopped a couple hundred yards in front of me. He appeared in a calm stance except the muscles in his chest and legs tense. I sucked in a breath and ran left. It wasn't long before I heard somebody behind me, and I sped up. Then I saw another person in front of me again, and I had to run right.

I wasn't getting tired. I knew that I would never get tired. But mentally, I was flying. I was high in a very alert, alarming way. But I wasn't saying "Ohh, dude, look at the colors!" I was running so fast and my mind so stunned that it felt like I was flying through the air. Then I saw another person in front of me, I turned right and I turned left, but saw other people there too. But my chest seemed to relax as I realized what this meant. They could just kill me and get it over with. I wouldn't have to worry about hauling my inconvenient butt everywhere; they would just kill me and then it would be over. So, even though my vague instincts were screaming against my every move, I stood up straight, arms lying relaxed at my sides, and closed my eyes. I waited for death to come.

But it didn't. Nothing happened. I was confused… I raised one eyebrow, with my eyes still closed, as if it say, "Helllooo?" But still nothing happened. I opened my eyes and glared straight ahead of me. The person was still there.

"Well?" I whispered, knowing that they would still hear me from every corner. "What are you waiting for?"

Silence for one minute. Then somebody asked, "Waiting for what?" Somehow, the voice seemed familiar….

I ran away like hell.


	3. Chapter 2: Ashamed

Chapter 2

I should have been gasping for air, lightheaded from dehydration. I should have fallen down from exhaustion _long_ ago. But instead I wasn't even sweating, panting, and I must have run 400 miles. It only took half an hour. All this shouldn't even be possible.

I should not have even existed, let alone 15 years.

The voice I heard sounded familiar… I couldn't explain it. It was like I heard it in a dream, but it also brought terrible memories with it. I'd have to find some other way to kill myself or bring on homicide.

My stomach grumbled, followed by a sharp pain in my abdomen. I doubled over, clutching my stomach, and moaned.

After two aching minutes, the pain ebbed away. I slowly stood up and looked up.

Having grown up in the stifling-hot deserts in California/Nevada, I was used to it being very hot. But because I grew up in a cellar all my life, it was always cold. During the day the sun would come through the window, just the slightest bit, but I would sit there and do my work. I enjoyed it.

Now, everything was green or covered in parasites. Green moss and grass and green _trees _quite literally blocked my view of everything. And it was cold. I tugged my shirt closer to my body and shivered. Off in the distance, I could hear cars and smell the nasty stench they gave off. It was disgusting; like some fumes of burning rubber plus... old, dirty money? I didn't know how else to explain it.

I stifled a gag. I pulled my tattered blue shirt that was several men's sizes bigger than me over my nose (which wasn't that hard to do) and then I sneezed. _I give up_, I said to myself. I jogged through the forest toward the pavement and when it was within view, I ran along the sides and followed it north. Eventually, after a couple half-hours, I stood in front of a sign that said, "Now Entering Washington." I kept going.

That must have been the highway I was following, because now it was a one-lane-this-way and one-lane-that-way kind of road. I wasn't sure what it was called… But I saw all sorts of stores: supermarkets, barber shops, a café, diners…

My stomach growled desperately in my abdomen. I sucked in a breath, trying to keep myself from crawling into a fetal position because of this pain, but I continued walking.

Eventually I realized that I didn't have money, never would have, and probably was going to have to live on dumpsters. Oh well. It was still food, right?

I crept behind a Dunking Doughnuts and noticed the dumpster in back of it. I sprinted over to it and just started grabbing random stuff. When my hands were full, I ran away and sat beneath a nice, secluded tree. I had grabbed about various seven half eaten or else stale doughnuts and bagels. I also grabbed three empty drink bottles, a few eating utensils, and several used napkins. I shoved the usable food down my throat and ignored the hard time peristalsis was having. I stood up and walked toward a public restroom.

All the stalls were empty, but that's not what I needed. No one seemed to even be here. I washed my hands first, and then cupped them under the water. I drank about ten cups of water. My stomach was uncomfortable, or else happy to be doing something.

Then I looked at the mirror.

I looked like a homeless eighteen year old. My hair was able elbow-length, and fell in very gentle curls down my back and sides, but it was covered with knots and had some leaves in it. I picked the pieces out with my hands, set them in the garbage, and set at smoothening it out. My hair was burgundy at middle to bottom, but the top of my hair was darker: auburn. It might've looked pretty if I wasn't wearing such ugly clothes and my face not covered in grime. I washed that too, and I looked worse. Dark circles stood out, and my green eyes were a forest green on the outside, with a lighter green filling up the inside. Somehow, my eyes looked like liquid…

My complexion is normally pale but I was in dire need of a bath. I had several scratches and cuts on my face, and when I touched them, they stinged very badly. So my face looked extremely red.

After a while I knew I had to leave. I couldn't just sit there and waste time. I left and tried to look as much like a human as I could.

People gave me strange looks. They didn't like how I looked. Children huddled closer to their mothers and they gave me narrowed eyes. Men looked at me from head to toe, eyes bulging, but when I made eye contact with them I could hear their hearts sputter and they would walk faster away from me.

I hung my head, ashamed.


	4. Chapter 3: No Normal Dog Scent

Chapter 3

I still couldn't be seen out in public. So I huddled next to trees and tried to relax. I had a feeling that someone was following me. My gaping at nature and civilization had disappeared. I was more worried about survival by now; but I also knew I just wasn't worth it.

I would head west. Maybe I could jump and drown in the Pacific Ocean. Yeah, that would work.

I stood up and started running northwest. Suddenly brightened by this plan, I looked around me and marveled.

But spontaneous cramps suddenly stopped me. I lay down and wrapped my hands around my stomach and groaned. After a few minutes, it stopped. I was left gasping and cringing.

I stood up again and ran faster this time. I ran along the border of a dreary-looking town with the weirdest name: Forks. What would make people name a town after an eating utensil?

I had no idea. But I was heading toward the water; I could smell the salt. And at that moment, that's all that mattered.

But I smelled something else… it was like dogs…. Somehow, the scent was disturbing to me. And even more disturbing, it was only hours old. I stopped and concentrated on the scent more. It _was_ a dog! But I could tell from its footprints it extremely big… too big for a normal dog. A wolf? No, wolves are normally small. This was not a normal dog.

A little freaked, I ran away as far away as I could from the beach and still return to forks_. Okay, don't try drowning in the Pacific Ocean again_, I told myself. This time I ran north.

But after a while my stomach became hungry again. I had to stop and stakeout somewhere for food.

I hid behind a little dinner that advertised mostly steaks. I waited for someone to come out with a binful of garbage and toss it into the dumpster. When there was no sign of anybody else I dug into it. I ate every usable food in there until my stomach was uncomfortably full. I tugged everything else into my hands, hoping I could keep it until later.

It was about eight o'clock pm. I wasn't hungry anymore, and frankly, I was exhausted. (Mentally. Always mentally.) So I settled beneath another completely green tree, in the roots, and tried to doze off for the night. But one thing kept on tugging at my mind. What was that weird smell I had met on the way over here? It was like a dog, but it smelled too… tame. It wasn't completely wild because I could smell traces of human in it. But who would want an animal that was its size?

But "who cares" would come in and answer that question. No reason for thinking stupid things I would never find out about. Tomorrow I would commit the deed that has to be done.


	5. Chapter 4: A Large, Grand, White House

Chapter 4

When I awoke, it was three-thirty in the morning. My eyes had flown open. I heard breathing and the rustling of brush; then I ran away.

Now I leaned against a tree, panting (metaphorically.) It was pitch black out, and I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't sleep more. Was it possible I could head to the beach now? Well, it would be relatively easy. No one but drunks drove around near four in the morning, I thought, shaking my head. I might as well head over there now.

But as I took the first couple steps, I heard a low growl somewhere. I whipped right around, stood still, and listened for the noise again.

I didn't move until I heard it again. Then I hissed around my hair, which was blowing into my face.

The stranger hissed right back. I slowly lowered myself into a crouch, and I could the tension rolling right off its body. I smiled in anticipation.

Then I smelled it again. That strange, dog-like scent I had encountered before. It somehow upset me. I stood up straight again, and ran off. But the creature ran right after me and managed to bite my leg before I could get very far. I fell over and howled in pain. He nearly ripped it right off before I could take my iron fist (no pun intended) and smash it into the side of his head. When I faced him completely, he let out a small yelp. But then he fell back, stunned.

Then I lifted myself up again and limped away from the dazed animal to away from town. When I found a secluded area, I rolled up my pants cuff and looked at my leg. I bit my tongue from screaming.

He nearly did sever it in half. Two long, deep marks ran down both sides of my calf where he drew his teeth in. Blood was flowing everywhere, and at an alarming rate. I groaned because I couldn't feel my leg, and I was afraid of my wound becoming infected.

So, despite my huffing and puffing, I slowly rolled my pants cuff back down and kneeled. I grabbed the side of a tree and tried to stand up. Eventually I was able to get myself up but when I tried to put weight on my bad leg, it hurt so bad that I fell back down and let out a loud scream.

I shut my mouth tight because I was supposed to keep quiet. I slapped myself just for the effect, in which I gasped quietly. Then I got up and limped to the closest house. I had no choice.

It took a couple of agonizing minutes, but eventually I saw a large, grand white house off in the distance. I held my breath and weighed my options: not die but suffer a terrible wound, or go get help… because I really needed it. Then again, it was four in the morning. Who would be up? I decided that now was not my time to be stupid, and so I limped over there.


	6. Chapter 5: Just Fractions of a Thought

Chapter 5

Bella

How many times had I said I was afraid for Edward in the past? A few. I can remember that. Now I watched his face in confusion as he frowned, trying to listen for something. My super-duper hearing should have allowed me to hear what he did, but I wasn't as practiced as he was. It's only been about three years since I was changed into a vampire. My hearing was acute as ever, but it was still possible he might have caught onto something before I did.

He pursed his lips in frustration, staring blankly somewhere past my right ear. I stroked his face and asked him what was wrong.

He sighed, and took my hands away from his face but held them.

"I don't know," he said slowly, his velvet voice perfect. "I had a feeling I heard something."

"Are you turning into Alice?" I teased, my own voice like bells.

He gave up an exasperated look.

"Bella, please? No, I am not turning into Alice, however I want to know what was I heard."

Who could it be? I thought, frowning. It was three in the morning. No one just takes hikes or whatever now. It could have just been an animal.

But Edward wore his determined face. I didn't want to disturb him, although he looked quite disturbed himself. Almost upset. I took his hands and leaned my face against them. Then I held just one of his hands as we took off from our cottage to our house, where the rest of our family awaits.

We burst through the door. Renesmeé, my daughter, was upside down on the sofa and reading a very thick book. She reluctantly closed the book and came over to us. Now she appeared about six years old, and hugged my waist tightly.

Alice came at the exact moment Edward opened his mouth to call for her. "Alice? I'm sorry to give you such lack of information, but can you look to see if anyone is around here? A person, animal, anything?"

"What is it, Edward?" Carlisle asked, his voice always calm.

"I don't know… I feel like I heard someone." He looked sideways at me.

"We were lying on the bed," I began, "and then he concentrated on something for a while. I didn't know what it was. He thought he heard someone around here."

"That's highly unlikely, Edward. It's three in the morning."

"So? It doesn't mean someone isn't in trouble!" he snapped, and then his face went blank as he mumbled his apology.

I gazed at him. He really felt serious about this.

"Edward? We'll look, okay?" I said to him, wrapping my arm around his waist. But he still seemed disturbed, so not like him. My eyebrows furrowed in worry.

Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Alice, Jasper and I ended up going out. Emmett and Rose were… busy… and I convinced Nessie to stay and read her book. Soon she was in lala land.

We ran along the river toward where Edward thought he heard it. We looked around and smelled everywhere, but nothing. Soon we found ourselves hunting. It made my throat feel better, even though it wasn't that bad before.

Eventually we couldn't find anything, even after a half hour, so we headed back. Then, when we walked right onto the porch, we heard it: a human scream and low growl.

Emmett, Rose, and Nessie were out in a flash. We all stared out and tried to guess where the person was. At the same time everyone laid eye on Alice, who was already hugging her temples. Edward seemed tense, and I squeezed his hand tighter. "Can you hear anything?" I wondered.

"Just fractions of a thought," he whispered back. "Not enough to understand yet."

"Well, get closer," I urged him.

Without a word, he ran off. I stayed here; Edward had lived without me for over one hundred years. I figured he would be fine without me for a few minutes. Besides, I needed to stay with Nessie.

She reached up and touched my cheek, showing me she was worried about Daddy. I told her he would be fine, and then her worry went to the person who was in danger.

Suddenly Alice sighed.

"I can't get anything clear. I see someone coming here for help – no doubt the one who screamed – but I can't tell who. It's just a giant hole."

"Was he or she friendly?" Esme asked.

"As far as I can tell, desperate, actually. I could only catch on the moods. I'll keep trying."

I heard Edward call my name. I dashed out over to him, followed by everybody else.

"I said Bella, not entire family," he complained. But then he turned grave and suddenly hugged me.

"Uh, Edward? Are you alright?" I whispered.

"Not very, Bella. Just follow me."

And he led us to where my werewolf best friend and pack leader Jacob was. He ran right up to Nessie and licked her face, but then said, "Listen I'm very sorry! I thought it was a wandering bloodsucker!" he exclaimed.

"What happened, Jacob?" I forced to keep my voice controlled, because I didn't think this would be good.

"Well I was doing a patrol and I see this vampire kid sitting under a tree. She seemed to have red hair, so for a second I was reminded of Victoria, so I jumped under the bushes and waited for her to start fighting. Then she gets up and looks toward me, then runs away. But I ran faster than her and grabbed hold of her leg with my teeth, and she was _bleeding_! Then she turned right around, faced me straight, and hit me so I fell down unconscious."

Now Jacob looked disturbed. "Not only was she bleeding and that was weird, but when I saw her face she was pale, her skin was tough and cold, but I could hear her heartbeat. Her cheeks were flush, and there was blood running in her. I could hear her labored breathing as I fell down. Now I figure she was a hybrid."

"Possibly a newborn?" I suggested.

"No, Bella. She had to have been a hybrid because she was too superhuman but also alive."

I didn't like his choice of word "alive" but I knew what he meant.

"I think we should go back inside," Carlisle said warily.

Moments later we were inside, worried and confused. Alice continued to try to see, in which she later gave up and announced she had a headache. This reminded me of when she couldn't see Renesmeé when I was pregnant with her. This gave me further evidence this girl was a hybrid.

Edward appeared most upset. I couldn't understand why he was like this the most. Maybe because he started realizing it before we did? I didn't know.

Jacob was trying to calm down Nessie, who was getting upset herself.

Everyone else stayed completely still or paced.

Then, suddenly, Edward stood up and said, "I've found her! She's very hurt." Jacob whined a bit as he said that. "Her leg has almost been cut in half so she can't walk, and she decides she needs help." He frowned. "I'm having a hard time understanding her because her thoughts are so secluded and she'll think about only what's important at that time over what's not."

Esme looked like she was going to start sobbing.

"She's going to look for help. Oh my God, I haven't felt human pain like this in a long time. It feels like my leg has been severed in half too."

"It was broken in half?" Jacob whispered in complete horror.

"No, not yet Jacob. We might have to do an amputation though."

Jacob looked like he was going to throw up.

"Okay, now she's spotted us. Carlisle, I would get your medical stuff and everyone else get ready to help her." He went off into the kitchen, no doubt to get food for her.

I peeked out the living room window and in the far distance saw a shadowy figure. Her jaw appeared clenched and she was grabbing her leg tightly. Then, slowly, she stepped forward. I waited.


	7. Chapter 6: Like a River of Blood

Chapter 6

Hayden

Gritting my teeth, I passed from tree to tree; trying to get to the house. It was now about twenty feet away. I apologized dearly to the poor family that would awake to find a young teenager with a ruined, bloody leg. I hoped they hadn't watched any freaky movies earlier.

When I finally got to the porch I collapsed on the stairs and panted. Then when I felt ready to walk again I crawled up the rest of the stairs and knocked on the door.

Bella

I dashed to the door and threw it open. I found myself staring in awe at this girl, whose face had turned from agonized to scared blank. But in the second that she stayed I caught everything.

She looked to be in her mid-teens. Her hair was dark red at the top, and fell in bright red waves, like a river of blood, down her neck. Her almond eyes were a mix of persian and forest green, her complexion was creamy white and flushed, and she had full lips. She wore a huge fishing jacket easily too big for her, very grimy jeans, and untied brown work boots.

But it was certain – she was a hybrid. She was just as unbelievably beautiful as Nessie (and just as strong, it seemed), though nobody could match the beauty of my baby. She had no crimson or amber or black eyes. She had to breathe – it had stopped when she saw us, and then sped up. I could hear her heart, which was very loud and too high. Her scent lingered somewhere around citrus, and it smelled wonderful; not in the appetizing way.

She uncertainly held her thigh tightly now, her lips pressed so tight they were white. I reached forward to bring her inside, where we could try to care for her. What I didn't expect was that she recoiled.

Hayden

VAMPIRES? I screamed inside my head. But I remembered to keep a poker face and remain quiet.

_How many?_ I thought frantically.

The brunette, who opened the door, was not my only concern. Behind her, there was a blonde lurking in the corner, two males, standing on the brunette's flank, and a really short black-haired girl sitting on the couch. Something told me that there were even more.

But that's not good news, for me. I was bleeding. Badly. They would just run after me and try to feed on me.

However I had no idea how that would turn out.

Usually, vampires tend to live in covens. Or they're loners. But something else about these vampires frightened me, just a bit. Their eyes were topaz. (My birthstone, or so I was told.) But I had never heard of any color eyes on a vampire other than black or crimson.

Though that freaked me out a bit, it was a mystery for another day. Right now I had to focus on trying on running away so they wouldn't kill me gruesomely.

But then the brunette reached for me. I shrunk away from her touch.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid_, I chanted in my head. I decided that I needed help and then I just happen to notice the _normal_ house with _vampires_ in them. Right here? In a little town?

Maybe they just liked a little game or something, because a town like Forks is too small to be regularly be snagging people away from their home and feeding. Or they could possibly travel all the way to Seattle; that was definitely likely, too.

I prepared to try to sprint away, even if my leg was now a useless half-on appendage.

But something was strange… they would have smelled the blood from miles away. And especially now, with me standing right in front of her. She should have lunged for me and not even let me have a second thought. But instead she frowned and studied me for a second, then smiled and grabbed my shoulder. I flinched and glared at her.

She just kept smiling and nearly threw me into the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

I stood my ground (yes, _very scary_, with my _one leg_) and crossed my arms. I glared menacingly at all the vampires around me. No way were they going to get the satisfaction of me giving up.


	8. Chapter 7: Predeath Giddyness

Chapter 7

Bella

What was the matter with her? We were offering her help right here! Isn't that what she wanted in the first place?

It couldn't have been because we were incredibly beautiful, strange, etc. She would know all about that, considering she was part vampire. She just glowered at all of us like parents scolding their children. But underneath her mask, I also felt that she was scared too. That part didn't seem to make much sense to me. We weren't going to hurt her. I mean, sure the blood soaking her jeans was making me a little edgy but it wasn't unbearable. I could handle it, and I had a feeling the rest of my family could, too.

"Hello," I began, thrusting my hand toward her. She looked at it blankly for a second and then hesitantly shook it. Then she sniffed like she had a cold, staring around the room. "Carlisle?" I quietly called out.

She whipped her head toward me with inhuman speed, gave me no-funny-business-eyes, then continued examining the room.

"Yes, I'm coming, Bella. I suggest you all leave; this might be uncontrollable for you."

He strode down the stairs with unmistakable profession with all the instruments he needed, then nodded to us.

While everyone gave the girl a warm smile, then left, I waited for Carlisle.

"Bella, you should leave too. I'm afraid you're the person I'm most concerned about losing control right now."

I rolled my eyes and settled on taking a few of his stuff to the makeshift hospital room, which we moved to right next to the living room for the current circumstances.

"What's wrong with her?" he whispered to me while we were still hidden.

"Apparently she doesn't like vampires, or maybe has a misjudgment on vampires."

"How ironic."

"I know it."

"I'll talk to her, while you get Edward and bring him here."

Then Edward walked into the room with a few packs of animal blood we keep in a freezer. "Let me talk to her with you. For some reason, I feel I can connect with her. I'll see if I can figure out why she's so uncertain about us."

Hayden

I'll tell you something: never have I felt so confused, so distraught with myself before. I've _hated _my guts bad before, but not like this. I just hate the situation I've gotten myself in. I'm going to get myself dismembered, then killed.

Let's all clap our hands for the ultimate epic-failer!

I was pacing inhumanly fast, thinking, then stopped to bite one of their pillows. Soft fuzz fell all over everything, and I ripped it apart. I have to say, though, the physical and mental release I got from that bite made me feel better. It was almost like biting into a limb of someone's that was soft and furry and tasted like fabric softener.

I continued to pace.

I heard them talking about me from the other room. What were they going to do with me in there? They seem confused about why I am the way I am.

Well, that's something that I've tried shoving down the ditch of my brain where things that are crappy are meant to be lost forever.

And who's this Edward dude that's supposed to "talk" to me? What, a pre-death physiatrist? I stopped to laugh at that, because it just seemed so appropriate right now.

And now I was suffering from pre-death giddiness.

But as soon as I heard them start walking over toward me again, I stayed still and stared at the ceiling.

"Ms, I want you to understand what we're trying to do and who we are," a new blonde vampire said to me. I stiffly shook his hand. "My name is Carlisle. Care to come with me into the next room?"

"For what?" I managed to spit out. "Attacking me, pulling off my bloody leg, then killing me?"

"Of course not," he said, actually looking shocked. The brunette looked at me, appalled, like I was insane too.

"If you're going to change me, it's already too late. I can't be changed into a vampire," I said, my chin going into the air a little bit.

He looked strangely curious.

"So, what do you want to do with me in the other room?"

"I want to treat your leg," he said. "I am a certified doctor and have been for years. So I promise I will not start sucking your blood and I will try my best to bandage your leg."

"Um, thanks, I guess," I muttered.

"And you must be starving," he mused. "But don't worry; Edward will bring some food over."

I was surprised. "Uh, alright."

He led me into a room with a couple hospital tables, beds, and machines. He sat me down on one of the beds, telling me to take off my jacket.

I refused. He asked me why not and I simply said that I had nothing else on under the jacket.

Then he told the brunette, whose name was Bella, to fetch a shirt from a girl called Alice. I shifted uncomfortably, thinking about the amputation Carlisle would probably have to. My leg was completely useless, I was eighty percent sure that's what'll happen.

While Bella was gone and Carlisle was getting his stuff out of his bag, another vampire, not five years older than me, came into the room. He had bronze colored hair, amber eyes like everyone else here, and seemed to look over me as soon as he saw me. He walked over and set a cup of liquid on the table, then smiled warmly.

Carlisle introduced him to me.

"This is Edward, Hayden. And Edward, this is Hayden."

I shook hands with him, surprised how soft but cold his skin felt.

"Why don't you eat up?" he said to me, handing me the cup.

It was one of those cups you might get at Burger King for soda, so I had no idea what it was inside, but I slushed it around for a moment and smelled it.

Then I crinkled my nose and stifled a gag.

_It was blood._

Edward immediately asked what was wrong.

"I prefer human food," I said hoarsely, shaking my head.

"You don't like blood?" Carlisle asked, nearly bouncing with curiosity.

"Well, I can live off it, so I'm told, but it really doesn't go well with my system."

"Oh," he said, surprised, "we'll make you something right now. Any preference?"

"No. Anything edible."

Er… except for blood…

Edward left. I turned uncomfortable. "Um, Carlisle, I just want to know right now. You're not gonna kill me?"

"Of course not, Hayden. We don't hunt humans."

"Then how do you eat?" I asked, fascinated.

"We hunt animals and feed on their blood. It's not nearly as satisfying, but it's just enough."

"And that's why your eyes are amber?"

He looked impressed. "Very good, Hayden."

"But how can you stand it? Being around humans all the time that are _bleeding_?"

He smiled as he began to roll up my pants leg. I held my breath, afraid I would start grunting in pain. "It just takes a lot of self-control. Even Bella, she's only a year old – still a newborn – and she's got almost as much self-control as I do."

"How did you guys know I was coming? It was clear. She didn't even look surprised, she just shoved me inside."

He didn't answer immediately. He needed to get access to my wound better, so he actually asked me to take my jeans off. I sheepishly tried to shrug them off. So there I was, lying in my underwear while a vampire doctor cleaned the blood and disinfected my wound. I felt very embarrassed and I was aware of my entire face turning pink. Good thing he was busy enough not to pay attention to my expression.

A couple of minutes later, I heard someone coming up the stairs and open the door.

It was Bella. It seems she would've blushed if she was still human, because she had the same look I did.

"Carlisle? I have Hayden's clothes," she called out.

"Good. Hayden, do you want to take a break before I start the procedure and get into some other clothes?"

"Um, sure," I said, awkwardly scrambling up.

"Bella, can you dress her?" he asked. I have a feeling she'd rather you than me."

I made a mental note to say thank you to him when he left the room.

Bella would have turned even redder then. She handed me a bra, white t-shirt, a new pair of underwear, and shorts. She told me that Edward would be here soon with my food. I could feel the juices going.

But before I could begin to change, I suddenly felt the worst cramps in my abdomen. They took the wind out of me and I began grunting in pain. I doubled over and felt contractions in my stomach spasm my entire body. I nearly screamed.

"Hayden?" Bella shouted, gathering me in her arms. She definitely looked freaked out and unsure what to do, so thankfully every vampire that supposedly lived in the house came running.

Naturally, Carlisle came first, looking at my tightening belly with a calm expression. Then he ran to his bag again.

I couldn't see that well through my teary eyes, but I saw the blonde come, two men (one was built like a football player and the other more lean), the black-haired woman, Edward, a little… girl?, and a woman with caramel-colored hair. She especially looked most distraught, like Edward and Bella. Everybody else had no idea what was going on, except the black-haired lady was pressing her fingers to her temples and closed her eyes. Okay, absolutely nothing weird about that.

And Carlisle finally came back to me with a huge pill that he shoved down my mouth. I swallowed it just like that and gasped, thankful that my stomach cramps were finally gone. I lay back against the wall, panting and slightly sobbing.

But I immediately swallowed down the sobbing. I couldn't cry here; I was strong.

But the look on everybody else's faces made me sigh. I carefully explained that this spontaneously happens at least once a day and that I didn't know what it was.

"Interesting…" Carlisle mused.

The caramel-haired girl came forward and gently hugged me. "I'm Esme. I'm so glad that you're here and alright."

"Errrr…" was all I could say.

"Here, allow us to introduce ourselves," one of the men said. He paused, then went on saying his name's Jasper.

The little black-haired girl said her name's Alice.

The blonde, who looked a little pissed, (big surprise – I'm surprised more people here _weren't_) name is Rosalie.

A man right next to her – who had a very well-built body – said his name's Emmett. He was also grinning dopily.

Lastly, the little girl, staring at me with curiosity from the corner of the room, announced that her name was Renesmeé but that I could call her Nessie.

I took an extra moment to study her.

She was probably the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. No doubt, she had to be vampire. That thought scared the crap out of me. But, thing is, I could hear her heart and smelled blood running through her. It's not possible she's… a…?

Oh gosh. Haha. What am I thinking? She _had_ to be a vampire child. My senses were probably going haywire anyway.

However, she looked about six or seven. She had large, round brown eyes, creamy white skin and bronze hair similar to Edward's. She tilted her head and smiled at me from one corner of her mouth. Then she did something peculiar – she turned to Bella and pressed her palm on her neck. Bella calmly stared at her for a second, then said, "Go on ahead."

The space between my eyes creased. What was Nessie – like the sea monster – going to do?

I just looked at her as she danced forward until she stood right in front of me. Then she slowly lifted her hand to me.

I was slow to understand, or at least accept. I finally kneeled down on one knee and allowed her to press her hand to my cheek. She closed her eyes in concentration.

It was a crazy series of pictures. She showed me a young woman covered in sweat and blood, with chocolate brown eyes – like Nessie's. Then Bella, who had bright red crimson eyes. Ahh. Bella as a newborn. But, wait, hold on.

I narrowed my eyes at the ground more. Then gasped as it started to make sense.

I broke away from Nessie's strange power. She removed her hand from my face as I turned around to stare at Bella, who smiled half-heartedly. "Bella, how old are you?"

"Eighteen," she answered. Then she also answered my next question. "Hayden, I'm a year old, in vampire years."

My leg made me a little queasy. "How do you have such self-control?"

"I don't know. None of us know, really – I was 'born' with it."

"Huh," I said, not really paying much attention to anything else. "But… how can you be a human? What happened?"

She slowly sighed, then sat down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "That, Hayden, is a very long, interesting story."

I began to say something else, but she cut me off. "I won't tell it now. Tonight. Or tomorrow."

That last word really broke through my conscience. "Tomorrow?"

She looked surprised. "Of course – you didn't think you were going home tonight, did you?"

I looked away, blushing and feeling slightly ashamed. "I wasn't going home tonight."

She was confused.

I watched the floor, memorizing all the patterns in the boards. "I wasn't headed home."

Bella just stared, obviously not following.

I refused to say anything else.

But someone else's gaze on my face made me look at him.

It was Edward.

He wore a strange look. He appeared in shocked, nearly wincing.

I narrowed my eyes at him; I didn't like that look for some reason.

Alice suddenly broke the silence. She danced over to me and gathered me in a tight but gentle hug.

Then she broke away, held me at arm's length, and studied me.

I could only gape at her; what else was I supposed to do?

Then she said to me, "You smell like a Clementine!"

"Err…"

She had a very pearly laugh, which bounced around the room. "It's not an insult, Hayden. You smell very nice."

"Okay," I replied, trying to give myself more personal space.

Alice just laughed again.

The doctor cleared his throat, looking kind of stern at me. Oh, yeah. My cramps.

It was going to be fun trying to explain why...


	9. Chapter 8: Yours is Like Citrus

Chapter 8

Hayden

I sighed. "I'll explain it later, ok? Right now I think is not the time." I stared around anxiously to see if they would be angry with me at that.

They didn't seem angry with me at all. In fact they seemed to understand. (All except Carlisle, who seemed a little bit irked.)

"Can I get dressed, please?" I asked.

And Alice stepped forward and took me around the waist. "I'll let you take a shower, too. Honey you look like you have been living outside for a year."

"I nearly have," I murmured, but they acted like they didn't hear that.

"Hear is your clothes." Bella handed them to me with a shy smile. She walked back beside Edward.

Rosalie stepped in front of Alice, completely ignoring me, and said something to her. I was staring too hard at her expression to really hear what she said. Her hard topaz eyes flickered toward me for a fraction of a second, and walked back to Emmett. The skinny clothes she was wearing I wouldn't be caught dead in.

Alice carried me upstairs because of my leg. When we arrived in her ENORMOUS bathroom, she asked if she could undress me and if she could fill the tub up with water so I could take a bath, considering I couldn't stand up.

I barely knew these people, and they were _vampires_, which meant unbelievably gorgeous. I wondered if I could stand being naked in a tub with a bleeding leg and a hungry vampire standing over me.

I shook my head slowly. "Do you have a metal chair or something I could use inside the shower?"

She stared at me for a minute, pursing her lips. "You trust us, don't you?" she asked, looking genuinely hurt.

I flinched and my head fell to the side a little bit. "Alice, I do trust you guys, but it'll take a while for me to become comfortable with everyone here. I'm sorry; I just have a bad history." With a shy smile, I asked again if I could have a chair, and this time she looked better and dashed off to find one.

I put the toilet seat down and sat. In minor distress I put my head between my legs and just tried to relax. When Alice came back with a small fold-up chair and stuck it in the shower, she took her hairbrush and tried to her best to get all the knots out.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" she asked anxiously.

"Not at all," I relied.

She stood me up and handed me an assortment of soaps, shampoos, and conditioners. Rapidly, she told me the directions of when and how much to use each one.

Alice noticed my puzzled expression and laughed her bright, pearly laugh. "If you like I can stay behind the shower and just instruct you when you need me to."

"Alright," I said, a little unsure.

While she looked away, I slowly pulled off my jacket and my dirty tank top. I wore no bra. I carefully kicked off my boots and shoved them into a corner. I removed my pants with extreme care and put them in the same place.

I put on a towel quickly and said I was ready for the water. She turned the shower on very warm. I dropped the towel and jumped in the shower.

"When you're wet enough completely use the white bottle in your right hand," she yelled over the water. "Pour a little bit of that onto a hand towel and wash yourself."

So I did, and she continued to give me instructions. For a few minutes before I was done I just sat down in the chair and let the hot water beat over my neck and my chest, enjoying the way it felt running down my stomach and over my pained leg.

I heard a tap on the shower door and startled. I hadn't realized I nearly fell asleep.

Instead of it being Alice, it was Bella. She smiled apologetically and told me that Alice started to get edgy, so she left before she could do anything bad. She was to help me get dressed now.

Even though Alice was nice and all, for some reason I preferred Bella. Maybe it was because I knew her a little bit longer.

I turned the water off and grabbed my towel again. I leaned against the wall because of my immobility and sort of waited to see what else she wanted me to do.

Bella run a towel over the wet chair and stood it in front of the mirror.

"I have no idea what she put in your hair, but I'll dry it and wash it for you anyway," she told me.

I laughed. A noise that didn't happen from me often…

So I just hugged to the towel to the front of my body and let Bella attempt to get all the rest of the knots out.

Amazingly, she did. She plugged in a hairdryer and slowly run it over my hair. It felt so good, I nearly dozed off again.

Suddenly the hairdryer stopped. She put it back and faced me, sitting on the counter. "What would you like me to do with you now?" she said with a smile creeping up her lips.

"Why don't you tell me about Renesmeé and Edward?" I asked.

She chuckled. "That would take an awfully long time, Hayden. Besides, I think Carlisle's practically jumping up in down with impatience to look at you."

I tiled my head. "Well, he can wait. I have time. Just tell me how you met."

She leaned back and stared somewhere far away. "It seems like so long ago," she whispered, practically forgetting I was here.

She shook her head a little bit and smiled at me again. "I will… maybe when Edward's with me too. Ok? For right now let's get dressed and meet Carlisle."

I have to admit, I was disappointed. But hopefully my leg with be better soon.

She handed me the clothes she was going to dress me in before. I put on the underwear, feeling more energetic than ever because of the clean feeling. I put on the shorts, the bra, and the t-shirt.

I pulled my hair back with a clip. I was unsure how to react when I got downstairs, so I asked Bella if she could carry me downstairs.

"Certainly," she grinned. But when my hair was right next to her face I saw her inhale deeply.

"What is it?" I asked. "You smell sooo good," she moaned.

I gave her a WTF look.

She replied, "Certain humans have scents. Yours is like citrus. Alice must have given you citrus shampoo, because it's 20x stronger now. You smell like the freshest fruit I've ever smelled in my life!" she exclaimed.

"And you smell like flowers," I said, frowning a little bit.

She just laughed, like there was something I was missing.

When I got downstairs, I saw the vampire family sitting in the kitchen with an array of foods all for me.

"Whoa," I breathed.


	10. Chapter 9: Not Quite Right

Chapter 9

Bella

Hayden looked at the dishes of food on the table with such desire we all stepped away from the table a little bit.

She inhaled the scents; her eyes rolled back into her head. She sneaked a look at me and I nodded. Then within a second she blurred, then attacked the table.

My family and I watched in… awe? – I had no other word for it – while she swallowed everything she saw. Esme looked so sad at this sight she put a hand over her mouth.

I tiptoed to Edward and laid my head on his chest. "We have some work to do," I mouthed to him.

He raised his eyebrow at me, glancing at Hayden every so often. "If you say so, Miss."

After she inhaled a few dozen chicken legs (no joke) she leaned back and panted. Wiped her mouth with her back of her hand, slowly becoming aware of all of us. When she noticed everybody staring at her, she blushed as hard as I normally would have if I was still human. Her mouth started to form a word, but Carlisle interrupted.

"It's all yours," he encouraged her.

She blushed more and shook her head. "No. I've already made such an impression. Can you just treat my leg, please?" Her expression was so interesting I had to focus on her harder.

She looked so embarrassed, distraught, angry, and pained at the same time. I looked at Edward to see what exactly it was she was thinking.

His eyes were closed, and his nostrils flared somewhat.

I'm not sure what it was, but something was seriously wrong with Hayden.

I followed Carlisle and her into the doctor's room. "What is it you have to do?" I whispered to him.

He whispered back, "I hope an amputation isn't necessary. Besides, I don't even think it's possible." He frowned. "Her skin is so hard that I'm not sure I could cut into it."

"But her leg is half off!" I whispered hoarsely.

"Yes it is. However I have to make a clean, straight cut to do an amputation. So I'm just going to try a lot of stitches and a cast. She _might_ have to walk with crutches for a while."

"How is it possibly all this is happening? Carlisle?"

His eyes were staring somewhere. It was at a picture of Italy, where I know to find the Volturi.

"That's just something we'll have to find out in time, won't we, Bella?" he made a broken attempt to smile.

And I watched as Hayden lowered herself on the chair, struggling to keep her breathing even. She fumbled with her hands in her lap, and pressed hard to her wrists. Her eyes closed, but her mouth opened and she began to pant.

"I think we may have to try a sedative," he said. I left him to do his work.


	11. Chapter 10: A Huge Hole

Chapter 10

Bella

When I came back to the kitchen, everybody was cleaning up the mess Hayden had made. Not that we could blame her.

"Bella," Jasper said. "Did you notice what she did?"

"Of course," I replied. "The fact she ate most everything we had laid out?"

He just shook his head in slight agitation.

"She hasn't eaten anything in a long time. Obviously she has been starving. She looked at the food with _lust_!" I answered, disturbed only a little bit.

I looked around. "Where's Esme?"

"Off to comfort Edward," Rosalie answered with a small smirk. "What the hell is his problem, anyway?"

_Same thing I'm wondering_, I said to myself.

Alice was sitting on the stairs, trying to figure out more of the future. The extreme aching look on her face told me she was getting another headache.

And there, in the living room on the couch, was Edward, bent over, and Esme, who was hugging his shoulders.

Esme got up and hugged me. I hugged her back. Then she left.

I sat down next to Edward and rubbed his back.

"What's up?" I begged to him.

Keeping his voice ever so low, he said back, "Hayden has got some problems she's not confronting. The thoughts going through her head are so… disturbing. It doesn't seem it's her fault though. She wants to do something I don't even want to think about. And besides, there's a _huge _hole I'm missing. Somehow, the root of it all isn't here. And she's blocking it out."

I began to feel like him. "What is it she wants to do?" I asked.

He nearly cried, if it could happen. "Bella, Hayden wants to kill herself."

And if I were still human, I would have fainted.

"Kill herself?" I answered, some time later.

"She has _extreme _blaming issues. She truly hates herself. Just now, as she was eating, she realized she was eating all our food and then cursed, screamed – you name it – at herself. She hates herself with a passion. For instant, when Esme was shocked about the fact she wasn't going home… she doesn't _have_ a home, Bella. In fact, she was going to do something that she had felt ashamed about, and now she's upset with the fact she forgot about it."

I didn't –_ don't_ – have words to explain the emotion, the extreme sympathy I was feeling.

"It has to have come from somewhere, though," I whispered.

"It did. She's just not telling me what."

We both stared at the hardwood floor for a minute.

"Another thing I want to know," I thought, "is what _is_ she?"


	12. Chapter 11: Apology is Welcome

**Sooooo. What do you think so far? Keep guessing what she is, I think it's kinda hard to guess. She's very close to a hybrid, but you gotta keep guessing! **

**Remember to put down what you think! I really don't care if you called me the fucking worst writer in the world, just put down SOMETHING!**

**E.G. "Blaaahhhhh."**

Chapter 11

Hayden

A beam of warm, golden light enveloped my body. My legs were twisted in a giant blanket and I stretched my arms so far I felt they would rip off my body. My river of bloody hair was tangled in a loop around my neck. I opened my eyes (the opposite of cautiously) and found myself in a dark room except for the sunlight bathing me from the window above my head.

I jumped up so quick I got headrush. What happened to me yesterday?

I tried to think back. The doctor put me on some type of gas. I remember thinking some loopy crap and then getting tired, until I think I might've fallen asleep…

I looked around me. And then… what? He brought me to an empty bedroom?

I was lying on a fricking gigantic bed with a striped blue comforter wrapped around my legs and waist. There was a bookshelf across the room with a lot of books and an assortment of knickknacks and small trophies. A nightstand was right next to the bed with a glass of water and a plate of cookies and celery.

My eyebrow rose. Really? Cookies and celery?

My headrush stopped. I attempted to stand up when I remembered the entire reason why I was sleeping in the first place. Shrinking away a little bit, I lifted the hem of my pants and found my leg mostly in one piece with a hell of a lot of stitches. Thank God it wasn't bleeding anymore, though.

Testing it out, I put some weight on it. It hurt just a little bit but it was nothing unmanageable. In fact it felt pretty good.

Once I was standing up, I stretched again. I caught a glance at my nightstand again, now noticing the note that was sitting there. It read:

**Come down to breakfast when you're ready**.

Shit.

But I did what it asked.

A few minutes later, I was slowly going down the stairs. With my super duper hearing I heard whispering in the kitchen. Esme and Alice were discussing what I wanted to drink: OJ or Milk.

Carlisle was mumbling something to Edward.

As soon as I got to the bottom, all the talking stopped. I swallowed and rubbed my throat as I neared the kitchen.

Alice came and hugged me so tight I felt my air squeezed out.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she cried out, gathering me in her arms once again. "Forgive me for having to leave you last night!"

I barked out a laugh. "It's fine! It was for the better of things, anyway, right?"

Esme took me around the waist and sat me down at the table. There were stacks of pancakes, hash browns, fresh fruit, toast, scrambled eggs, and tea.

I looked around. "Where's Bella?"

"She just went to the cottage quickly. She'll be right back," Edward assured me.

"Okay…"

I sat down and picked up the syrup. As I began to eat my food, everyone realized how rude it was to stare and began to walk around.

Edward, Esme, and Alice kept a close eye on me. I tried to make the situation less awkward so I attempted small talk.

"It's a lovely house you have," I said shyly.

Esme grinned and thanked me. "It is beautiful."

"I…um…have to admit I wasn't exactly expecting vampires to live here," I said. "I've had some…bad experiences so I apologize for the freak-out before. I thought humans lived here."

Suddenly Edward's eyes hardened. I narrowed my own.

"Bad experiences… like what?" Alice asked me, her liquid topaz eyes glinting with curiosity.

"I'm sorry," I answered, once got away from its spell, "I just don't feel… comfortable answering that right now." I took a bite out of my grapefruit to pass the self-consciousness.

"Anyway," I said slowly. "I appreciate your hospitality. And for treating my leg. I feel I may be able to go home even tonight."

They all exchanged glances. "I don't think that's a good idea," Esme said carefully. "Stay here for another week, at least a couple of days."

I looked at her face, her sweet, heart-shaped face. "Esme, I don't really think I can do that."

But she… begged. Alice looked the same way, even expressing Bambi eyes. Edward just looked at me, as if he was trying to study me.

"Fine. I'll stay until the end of the week."

"Great!"

I dug into my hash browns, cursing myself in my head.

Suddenly Bella came through the front door and headed our way. But wait! Something was behind her!

I dropped my fork and froze. I smelled the air and what I found I didn't like.

I smelled dog. Not a housedog, but the same thing that had almost bit my leg off.

I jumped up in a flash and crouched down, growling. Everyone was surprised at this, and Edward called out for Jasper for some reason.

The smell was still here. It wasn't moving. I continued to snarl.

Jasper came into the room and then all of a sudden I stopped growling. A warm feeling came through to me and I just felt like the most content person in the world. However, I was aware of this. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to defend myself in case it tried to hurt me again!

"Stop it!" I said, all too calmly.

"Hayden, somebody is in the living room. He wants to apologize."

_Apologize?_ I thought to myself.

"What? For nearly killing me?"

"He didn't kill you and you know it," she suddenly snapped.

I cut it out immediately. That's the first time I've ever seen her stern.

However I stood my ground. I wasn't hostile, but I was going to fight no matter what.

Then somebody came into the room, slowly. I was NOT expecting what I saw.

It was a teenager, he must have been my age or older. He had muscles on his shoulders and all over his body. He wore a black t-shirt and beige pants. But his skin was very dark and he smelled like the dog. _Exactly_ like the dog! And his expression was a mix of apologetic, scared, and surprised.

"Are you the one who almost bit my leg off?" I asked him, struggling to keep my voice calm.

"Direct much?" he muttered. Then he said to me, "Yes, I am."

"Okay."

"I'm… uh… sorry?"

"Well you're welcome," I said with a smirk.

Bella looked ready to smack me.

I sighed. "I'm sorry. Apology accepted."

He continued to look at my face. I wasn't going to deal with his guy any longer, so I sat down and continued to eat my breakfast.

"Hayden," a voice called.

I looked up to see who it was. It was Edward.

"Come with me," he said.

I swallowed. "Um… okay." _I'm fucked._


	13. Chapter 12: Manhattan

**I have a song for the scene later in this chapter where Edward and Hayden are running around the forest playing games and messing around—basically it's Edward's test to see if Hayden can recognize fun, and how she reacts. It's "Manhattan" by Kings of Leon. It seemed to fit the mood of what I was thinking.**

Chapter 12

Hayden

I was afraid, I'll admit. I pushed my chair back and stood up. I followed him to the bottom of the stairs.

"There are clothes for today upstairs on your bed," he said calmly. "When you're dressed, meet me outside the front door."

"Al-alright," I stuttered.

Then he left.

I went upstairs to my room_. Jeez the house was huge!_

A pair of jeans, clean socks, and a long-sleeved cerulean shirt sat on my bed. So I took my pajamas off and got into these clothes. They fit wonderfully.

Just to see what I looked like, I went into the bathroom and flicked on the light. My hair was in such a messy ponytail I undid it and brushed it out. I have to say, I sort of looked pretty the way the waves fell down my back and shoulders. My face was clear and creamy like it normally should be, except for slightly rosy cheeks. The shirt hugged my body perfectly. And along with the jeans, my hourglass shape was very clear.

After I put my shoes on I went outside and met him there. He looked like he'd be waiting for this moment a very long time.

Edward

The way she stood in front of me was like looking at a female version of me. Her eyes matched the same color they were when I was still human, but her hair was just perfectly red, not bronze like my own.

The other thing was, she was definitely at my top list of one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen. Bella will always be the most gorgeous person to me and then comes Renesmeé. But I'm considering Hayden to be a close third.

Whether she knows it or not (I'm guessing she doesn't), Jacob reacted the worst to anybody I've ever seen. His thoughts were incoherent, and a bit graphic I must admit.

But anyway.

There were a few reasons why I felt I knew her the most.

One, I could read her mind. I knew what she was like probably more than anybody here. And two, we're both extremely blameful of ourselves. And even though my story was a little bit different, I too had wanted to kill myself once. "Let's go take a walk," I said to her, smiling.

"Okay," she answered.

I sprinted into the forest. She soon followed, laughing.

We chased eachother around, joking at eachother. I was the fastest in the family so she didn't quite keep the lead, but we weaved in and out of trees and large rocks, and she was best at keeping me guessing where she was, even though I had the pleasure of looking into her head.

Sometimes when I looked at her though, I could see Victoria. But it wasn't her fault. She probably didn't even know who she was. And besides, Victoria's dead. We didn't have to deal with her anymore.

We never got tired. Both of our cheeks were beginning to be sore from grinning, if that even were technically possible. She has having fun, and to be honest, so was I.

At one point I had no idea where she was and I was disciplining myself from looking into her mind. When I was running past a particularly large tree, suddenly I felt a weight on my back and I almost got pushed down.

She had been hiding in the tree, and then jumped on me. She giggled and laughed, and I was laughing too.

Then I took her toward the house again. I was going to tell her a little bit about the family on the way there.

"So, have you guessed what's strange about our family yet?"

She thought for a minute. _What, other than the fact you're not like any other vampires I've ever met before? Even though each of you act a little bit different…_ She followed that train of thought. Then she answered, "Something's strange about you guys. You're always looking at me like a person in shock. Alice is always hugging her temples, and Jasper made me calm when I was ready to rip Jacob's head off." She raised an eyebrow. The inquisitive look was enough to get the information out of any person. If she ever started dating, she'd break some hearts. "I'm guessing each of you have something particularly special about one another."

"You're very close," I told her. "Each one of us has brought a trait into our vampire life, and some of us have even been gifted with special abilities to go with that trait."

She hung on every word.

"For instance," I continued, "Alice can see the future."

"So she's physic?"

"Very much so, yes. And Jasper can manipulate emotions."

_Ohhh_, she thought. _That makes sense._

"I have never been able to read Bella's mind. Even when she became a vampire. In fact, because of this private mind of hers, she can work with force fields."

_Shut up,_ she said. _That's… not real._

"Oh, it is real Hayden."

Her face was freaked out as she looked at me. "You…"

"I can read minds."

She stopped dead and looked at me. "No way," she whispered.

"It's true."

She rolled back and forth on the balls of her feet, shaking her head. She was biting her lip and had her eyes closed. "No."

"Yes."

"No!" she exclaimed, as she began to cry.

I gathered her in my arms. "It's okay, Hayden." My own voice was hoarse. "The things you're going through are so hard for me to imagine. I want you to become comfortable with us all, because we can help you."

She sniffed into my chest. "No you can't," she whispered. "Nothing you can do can help me. Besides, it doesn't even matter. I won't be a bother to anyone much longer."

I made her look at me. "Listen to me: I almost killed myself once. It was because I thought Bella was dead, so I wanted to end my life. So in return of me wanting to kill myself, I nearly got her killed because of me. I couldn't believe I was so close to missing out on her life, and mine. I'm just happy we're both together for the rest of eternity."

She just closed her eyes again and let the tears keep rolling. _My life is nothing._

"It's not nothing!" I nearly shouted. "Stay with us for longer than a few days, a few weeks. I want you to experience what it's like to be loved by people around you, because I know you didn't experience that where you came from."

Her green eyes, which blended with the surroundings around us, narrowed down. One side of her lip curled. "I do know one thing: You don't _know_ where I came from."

Desperately, I searched her thoughts for any flicker of remembrance.

There was nothing!

"I know that much. Where I came from is the worst place on this planet, let it burn in Hell. It's why I am what I am. Don't even remind me of it anymore." _And oh, yes. I got LOADS of fucking attention!_

With that, she ripped herself from me and ran back to the direction of our house.


	14. Chapter 13: They Can Never Know

Chapter 13

Hayden

Tears streaming, I ran back to their house. He knew better to follow me back here, even though he knows _what I'm doing, where I'm going, blah blah blah._

He's probably knew what I was planning on doing since yesterday when I first came. And dammit, because I was actually having a good time.

They all lied to me. They're all trying to make me feel better.

I stopped in front of the house, getting my breathing even. I pushed open the door and strutted right into the living room. Everyone was sprawled around, and looked alarmed at my expression.

"I appreciate what you've done for me. I'll be leaving tonight, so I'll just stay up in my room for the rest of the day. I'll see you briefly later." I tipped my invisible hat and ran upstairs. Once inside, I locked the door and stuck my head under my pillow, hoping maybe I would suffocate and not have to deal with anything else.

Bella

Everyone didn't know what to say. She had just came in and announced she'd be leaving with no warning. Now I could her shrieking upstairs.

What the hell did Edward do to make her that mad?

When he came inside, he went straight to Carlisle. "I think I figured something out," he said very quietly. Carlisle motioned him to go on.

"I told her about the special abilities of our family, then about my own. She got very upset. Eventually I made a remark on the fact she mustn't have gotten much loved attention where she was. She freaked out and told me not even to think about where it was she came from because _it made her who she is now._ Then in her head she made a comment on '_the loads of f-ing attention_' she got. Notice any connection?"

"I do," Renesmeé announced quietly.

"I think I know what happened," she continued, but Rosalie took her in and Nessie didn't get the chance to say anything else.

"Holy crap," I whispered. And in unison, Jasper and I said, "Hayden had been abused."

The room fell silent.

Hayden

They were talking about me downstairs, obviously. Edward was probably telling them all about what happened.

I punched my pillow, and bit it till I could shake it around like a lifeless ragdoll.

I was pissed off at _everything_. I kicked walls and screamed into my closed mouth. The rage was enough for me to take on fifty grizzly bears.

Why did I trust them? They all lied to me!

Alice could probably have seen me coming long ago, and Jasper could have manipulated me to anything he wanted. Edward knew what I was doing at all times. My privacy, which was one of the few things I had left, was gone, baby, gone.

And I had believed them!

Carlisle probably put me on funny gas waiting to see what it would do to my unique body. Probably ran tests on me while I was saying gibberish or took my blood sample.

I shivered. Doctors! Screw them all!

My blood sample… oooh boy. They probably ate it all before they could even do any tests with it.

But over it all, there was some voice in the back of my head. It was disagreeing.

_Carlisle treated your leg_, it said to me. _You're here and nearly healthy. They made a giant breakfast for you, even though they can't eat food themselves. They never even made any notion to kill you. In fact, Alice left last night because she was in such control of herself. They love you, believe it or not._

"SHUT UP!" I wanted to scream at it.

_And Edward was only saying that stuff to you earlier because he wants to know what happened. It's time you told them._

"They can never know," I muttered back to it.

_It's a matter of time until they've helped you so much you want to preserve yourself. You ARE important, no matter what you say. If you thought you were such a nonentity, why did you go through the trouble of finding food in the woods? Why did you have such fun with Edward in the woods before? You need a life with people who love you, just like he said._

"STOP IT!" I shrieked at it. "STOP IT!"

This fight continued. I soon fell back in exhaustion and passed out.

Edward

Her screams were apparent upstairs. We all heard her, yet no one knew what they were replying to except me. It was so different to listen to her two consciences to talk, to argue, to yell back eachother. It was one of the craziest things I had listened to in anybody's head before.

Although it was crazy, it was very depressing. I brought this upon her. If I just had been quiet about that one comment, she'd be pretty relaxed.

I looked at Bella. She was biting her soft bottom lip. Her pale, beautiful face was contorted by stress and anxiety. She was studying my face, looking as sad as I felt.

Renesmeé climbed on top of her lap. She pressed her cheek to Bella's neck and Bella cradled her into her arms. Nessie reached her hand out to me. I grabbed it back.

An especially loud scream sounded, followed by a wince from me.

Rosalie snorted inside her head. I whipped around in her direction and gave her a murderous look. That's probably just about as murderous as somebody could possibly get.

She smirked_. What is it? You falling for her now? Well, that's not too creepy. She's only two years younger than you._

I growled at her.

_I mean I understand_, she continued. _She's beautiful and she's young. She may even be capable to have more kids. Nessie needs a sister._

I wanted to bad to just mute her from my head. But she was practically shouting at me.

Trying to escape her repulsing thoughts, I left and met Carlisle, who was sitting in his office.

"Carlisle, what are we going to do?" I asked, a bit desperately.

He looked up from a large, thick, dusty book he was reading. "I'm not so sure, Edward," he said. "We think she's a hybrid, but all the information on hybrid children doesn't completely match her."

_Maybe we should make a chart to compare and contrast,_ he thought to himself.

I grabbed an empty notebook and with lightning speed, wrote down the heading. I made a table with the labels of Hayden vs. Hybrids (Renesmeé.) I handed the page to him.

So he started to write…


	15. Chapter 14: Compare and Contrast

Chapter 14

Edward

Here is what our results looked like:

Hayden:/Hybrids: (Renesmeé)

Both have beating hearts.

Both have vampire strength and speed.

Hayden CAN get injured/Hybrids CANNOT get injured.

Hayden DOES eat human food; depends on it/Hybrids DO NOT eat human food.

Both have to breathe.

Both have blood in their veins.

Hayden DOES NOT have vampiric skin/Hybrids DO

Both sleep.

Hayden is mortal and growing normally/Hybrids are immortal and have a very fast growing process.

Hayden's recovery from an injury is very quick.

And lastly, their anatomy is different.

* * *

They were very much the same, but they were different in all the important places.

"Edward," Carlisle said urgently, "Hayden looks more human than vampire."

"Genes different?" I suggested.

"No," he mused. "All hybrids match that of Nessie. Hayden appears to be something else entirely. She has all human organs, not any venom. I know Nessie has no venom, either, but her biology is different. There are certain organs she doesn't even have Hayden, like humans, have."

I listened in on his thoughts as he kept contemplating what this all points to.

"You did tests on her while she was on gas!" I exclaimed.

"It was too important," he replied sheepishly. "I only took her blood sample and looked into her chromosomes, anyway."

Like he did with Jacob, when Bella was pregnant.

"Was she saying anything important, Carlisle? Was all the pointless stuff she said while high—"

_And that_, he thought, and quickly wrote that down onto our chart.

"—mean anything?"

He tucked his pen inside the page, and then closed the notebook. He looked very old, very tired, weary. "I'm sorry Edward, but she just kept noticing how bright the room was, and then wanted it to stop. Said it was too hard on her eyes. Then soon after she passed out. Obviously she was extremely tired; I'm surprised she never even went into shock."

"Well we better show the others," I murmured. I reached for the notebook, but Carlisle's hand was already there.

"Edward, I think I'm going to do an exam on her." He looked very positive of this, but I thought it was ludicrous. She would just hate us more.

"Just do a physical, see how she looks. If she can break a leg, she can break more. If she was abused, which we're pretty positive of by now, we can at least check to see if she has any bruises. Then again, it's possible all of it could have been emotional, or verbal."

"Alice and Bella I'm sure would have seen a gigantic bruise while she was taking a shower," I replied. "Maybe she heals quickly."

"Or maybe it was somewhere not easily spotted," he mused again.

In his head, he was continuing a series of theories in which the bruises would be shielded from view. He couldn't come up with anything.

"This is frustrating," I said, slightly agitated. "If only she could tell us."

"Maybe she will in time, Edward."

"But she said she's leaving tonight!"

"Do you really think we'd let her do that? Besides, I don't even hear anything from her now."

Automatically we tuned in on the noises in the house. The only noises heard came from downstairs.

I searched for her head. And when I looked into it, I saw a sterile environment with incoherent, absurd and surreal shapes.

At the same time we arrived at her door with vampire speed. I cracked it open.

Thank God! She was just asleep. Her body was sprawled out on her bed, and her head under her pillow. She was breathing, almost panting, out of her mouth. Her eyebrows were creased with unmistakable concentration or frustration of something. She still had all her clothes on.

We both breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't do… what we were afraid of.

I closed the door and returned downstairs. We were going to tell our family our eventual theory.


	16. Chapter 15: The Doctor's Checkup

Chapter 15

Bella

When Carlisle and Edward came downstairs and showed us what they thought, I was mostly wondering what we were going in the meantime. As they said, Hayden's now asleep upstairs from exhaustion. Carlisle wanted to do a physical on her and make sure she was completely healthy and not beaten or anything. Edward wanted to calm her down again, persuade her to stay tonight. And if she wished, she could stay till tomorrow. I think we all agreed she could stay as long as she wanted to.

Well, maybe except Rose.

She still thinks this entire thing is ridiculous. Frankly I'm sure she feels bad about Hayden deep inside, but she's got a hard head. She feels similar about her as she had done with me, thinking this'll just get us all killed.

Absolutely ridiculous. Hayden's obviously been through more crap in one lifetime more than any fifteen year old should be going through.

Then again, she's not just a regular fifteen year old. She's also a part vampire fifteen year old, who is suicidal, and apparently had been abused where she came from.

Definitely not what I was going through when I was fifteen.

But Rose will warm up to her. We all knew it.

Alice was getting used to searching in the future for Hayden. Even though it gave her headaches before, now she was feeling better, and even was getting bits and pieces of visions. So slowly Hayden was getting attuned to her.

We prepared food for her for when she came downstairs. We put the T.V. on a sitcom and turned the volume down. We could hear her stirring upstairs, and we all held our breath (quite literally) because we were so anxious to see what would happen.

Edward

_What the hell_, she wondered lazily. I could see through her head that she was propping herself up on her elbow and pressed her hand to her head. She had a terrible headache.

_Ouch… What did I _do_?_ she thought. Then she remembered what had happened previously and fell back against her pillow, wincing.

_Dammit. I can't leave like this._ Then she groaned as she ran over the reason why she was going to go away. _I'm afraid I got too close…_

Close to what? I wanted to ask her.

But reading her mind was a pain in the neck. She kept her mind so private and never connected any of her thoughts to the root of it. I guess it's fair for her but quite not for me. Then again, I'm certain I'm the only person who might have a problem with that. There aren't that many read-minding vampires if you get what I mean.

_I couldn't say goodbye to any of them… and who was I kidding… I'll never end up leaving, they just won't let me._ She groaned again, followed by a bunch of mumbled gibberish.

She got up to go to the bathroom. I let her have her privacy.

"What's she doing?" Jasper asked.

"She seems to be a little bit confused.… Anyway, she's using the bathroom right now."

"Will she come downstairs?"

"Honestly I have no idea…she's still making up her mind."

Jasper nodded and I listened to her thoughts as soon as she came out.

_I guess I do sort of want to say goodbye… maybe if I tell them I'll be coming back they'll leave me. Worst case scenario I fight my way out… not like I haven't done it before._

I jerked my head toward Jasper. "She's coming down but to tell us that she's leaving for good. She says if we put up a fight she'll just fight us back. I need you to make her calmer."

"Will do Edward."

And I went outside but stood next to the window, where I could hear everything including her thoughts. I didn't think she wanted to see me right then. However, it turns out that the need to manipulate her emotions wasn't quite needed yet.

Hayden

This is it. I had the remains of my possessions in a rucksack slung over my shoulder, including some clothes I had actually nicked from a pile of clean laundry. I don't know whose they were, but they looked the right size and besides, being on the run and not belonging to anybody kind of puts looking good at the bottom of your list.

I got to the second to last step and lightly leapt onto the floor. I could hear everyone breathing's suddenly drop, and I knew that I had no chance at all.

It was the little girl Renesmeé that met me first. She stared at me curiously with big eyes and then asked, "Where are you going, Hayden?"

Her articulate speaking for an apparent six year old stunned me more than ever.

"I have to go somewhere. I can't stay here. Besides, I've got business I have to take care of—in fact it should have been over with long ago," I added, more to myself than her.

The hunk, Emmett, walked in from where I recognized the kitchen to be. He grinned. "Hey, sorry I've never given you a proper greeting. How're you feeling, Hayden?"

Sort of amused, I shook his hand. "Okay, I guess."

I didn't realize that was true until I'd spoke it. I frowned at the floor.

"Care to join us for breakfast?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Uhh, you know I'm not a real vampire, right?"

He laughed. "Of course I know that! First of all, I was joking about that, and second of all, would you care for some of your disgusting-looking wonderful people food?"

I snorted. "Sure."

"Okay then!" he said cheerfully as I followed him into the kitchen. Renesmeé stood beside him. There sat Bella, Rosalie, Alice, and Carlisle. In the back of my mind I wondered aloud where the others were.

"To eat, we haaave—Uh, Carlisle what do we have to eat? For the human?" he added helpfully.

I just stared at him out of the corner of my eye and gave a loud gigglesnort.

Bella had a small smile on her face. Rosalie acted like I wasn't even there.

"Look in the fridge, Emmett. Or the pantry."

"Right!" he cried as he opened the refrigerator door.

I sat in the seat and simply looked at Bella. "Listen, I'm not staying. I thank you for all that you've done, and I give my apologies to Edward, so if you could tell him I'd be grateful. I'm going to eat and head out the door... Who knows, maybe I'll be able to see you guys in the future."

Alice clutched her head again. Now that I knew what was going on with her when she did that, I stiffened but remained calm. I focused on the fact that even though she was looking into my future I couldn't blow up, I really wanted to leave on good terms if I could help it.

"Hayden," Bella began reluctantly, putting down her newspaper, "I just don't understand why you have to leave. You're very safe here. Besides, you're getting a visitor today," she ended with a bit of a mumble.

The alarms in my head went off. "What kind of visitor?" I asked warily.

"He wants a proper talk with you, don't be upset or anything, he just wants to make it up to you?"

The alarms went on full blast for a moment, and then fell silent as I burst out laughing. "Oh, it's the dog! Alright, fine, he can say goodbye."

Bella glared at me. "Don't call him 'dog.'"

I threw my hands up in apology. "Sorry. Well when's he coming?"

Bella went back to her paper still with a glint in her eye. "About an hour," she said without looking up.

However, something odd was happening. Even though I ticked Bella off, I made Rosalie smile.

"Uhnm," I mumbled, not quite sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing.

Emmett, who had been piecing together a sandwich, laid a PBJ in front of me. I shrugged and ate it. At least the jelly will give me some energy.

"Here's the deal, guys: I can't stay here. I don't belong here. I _would_ give you the full story, but I can't, so I'm not. I'll say goodbye to Jacob and leave, alright?"

Nobody looked amused. I sighed and contemplated how much it was worth it to get in an argument where I can simply run away. That seemed like the best idea even if it was against my best intentions.

"Hayden," Carlisle called softly as he rose from the table and a split-second later appeared at the door. "Can I just give you a check up on how your wound is?"

I couldn't see the harm in that. "Alright, doc."

There was a smile on his lips as he led me to his makeshift medical room. It was just how I remembered it except it didn't have as many medical instruments lying around as it did when he stitched me up.

"I'm going to ask you to change into this," he said, carrying a light dressing gown. "It'll just be easier than before, and maybe more comfortable for you."

I flushed again but he didn't seem to notice. He gave me my privacy, and when I was done, walked back inside with a clipboard.

"Um why do we need that?" I asked.

"Just so that I can have all the necessary information with me," he said smoothly as he pulled out a stethoscope and such.

Needless to say, he checked my heart, blood pressure, and breathing, but all of it was puzzling about why that was needed to check my leg.

"Sir, aren't you just checking my leg?"

"Primarily, yes," he said, checking my back for scoliosis. "However, I want to do a general checkup, just to get you home safely. If some complication comes up I promise you I'll only treat it and let you go."

"Alright," I said slowly.

He proceeded to check my stomach, weight, height, do a quick X-Ray, and test my flexibility. The last one he looked not nervous, but uncomfortable about. "Hayden, I know that this may be young for fifteen, but since you're very physical mature, may I ask you if you've ever given yourself a breast examination?"

Whatever it was, I wasn't expecting _that_.

"Um…no," I answered, feeling very, very uncomfortable.

"I'm only asking if you've felt anything odd there before. Same goes for your private area."

I flushed from my embarrassment and my eyes got dark as some of the worst memories I've tried so hard to keep shut away surfaced to my head.

"No!" I said, just begging he sees past me and assumes it's embarrassment.

"Alright, now I've only got one more thing to do."

"What is that?" I asked cautiously.

"Don't worry, it isn't bad, and I'm perfectly capable of handling it."

Oh. My blood.

I unwillingly handed out my arm. Carlisle laughed at my knowing and rubbed some alcohol against the crease of my elbow. He took a syringe and withdrew a few pints of my blood. I was getting so dizzy and became feeling vulnerable.

He gave me sugary foods and apple juice to get rid of the lightheadedness. I relaxed and leaned back, sipping on the juice, content, when Carlisle suddenly said something.

"Hayden," he said tentively and seriously, "what is all that along your thighs and hips? Is that dirt or something?"

I stopped breathing altogether. I didn't answer but stared at him, mind racing frantically. He stopped looking at the tops of my legs and now had a blazing look, which he pointed right at me.

"_Hayden—_"

My mind was practically malfunctioning and Carlisle was turning forceful, even a little scary. "_I said, _'what is that along your thighs and hips?' _Hayden_!"

**Haha, spooky ending I know, can anyone guess? It's not pretty, and we're getting close to the big revelation of what happened to her. As I added in an updated summary there's a bit of a disturbing theme… soon it will come up. Not anything terribly disturbing or obscure, just a horror that unfortunately happens to a lot of people.**

**Thank you for reading so far, I've also made it a goal to write author's notes, because from my own personal experience I find the stories come out better for some reason…at least to me maybe on a subconscious level.**

**R&R! **


	17. Chapter 16: Broken and Bittersweet

Chapter 16

Hayden

I squeezed the juice box so hard it crumpled into a pulp in front of me. But I was still looking at him in the face. I had no choice but to break out of there, even though I'd probably die trying.

"You shouldn't have noticed that." My breathing was heavy. My breast heaved with anxiety.

Carlisle and I had a death-glare match for a minute. I was still conflicted on what to do—tell him the truth, or leave it alone and just run away from here—but Carlisle's fears were correct, I knew they were.

He had been guessing about what was wrong with me. The bruises adorning my thighs and hips just gave him visible, obvious, lying, cheating proof. I had forgotten about them, let alone did I think that anybody would find out, even if it was by accident.

Instinctively, absentmindedly, I ran my hands along my thighs through the dressing gown and rubbed along my hips. A slight amount of pressure made my teeth clench in the pain, but I've learned to ignore it, even live with it. I've trained myself to.

Just when I was getting desperate a knock sounded from the door. My eyes darted toward it but landed back on Carlisle just as quickly.

"Yes?" His voice sounded tight.

"Is Hayden done yet? Jacob just arrived." It was Bella, and she was oblivious.

Carlisle hesitated, and then said, "We're just about done. Only one more test."

"Ok." She left.

The staring contest resumed. Unfortunately for me, I still had to blink, unlike him, who could go unblinking for hours, so when my positively burned and I first blinked, Carlisle spoke. It was like a gun firing in the middle of a tense silence.

"Hayden, you need to tell me why you have all these bruises. I'm serious, but I'm also not going to take it bad."

I shook my head, seriously fighting an internal battle. Part of me wanted to pass this burden onto someone else, someone who could help, and yet my stubbornness and the desire to loathe myself stood in the way. I couldn't tell them, no way. And yet, here he was, asking me why it looked like a truck ran over my pelvis, genuinely concerned, even if he was approaching it intensely. I knew he knew it was the only way to maybe crack me.

All the while, memories flooded back to me—the ones buried down deep, the ones that only arose in my nightmares these days. I couldn't take it any longer; my lips trembled and a voice that I am so fortunate to have run away from sounded in my head. He taunted me. It was as if he'd never left in the first place. Like he knew I was just a silly little girl with a silly hope that maybe, just maybe, someone could really love me, hold me, care for me, understand me…

And so the tears fell all over the front of my shirt. I'd been broken, cracked. And the taste was bittersweet.

"Hayden?" Carlisle said now, very gently. He put a hand on my shoulder, but I refused to make eye contact. The man in my memories, staying behind my closed eyelids, was still haunting me.

"Honey, it'll all be okay. Do you need a minute?"

I began to shake my head, but then nodded.

He strode toward the door, but I raised my voice before he could open it.

"Wait," I said.

He turned and looked at me with something I could identify as pity and distress.

"Jacob is here. I said I'm going to meet him, and I will. I'm going to tell you why I have these" —I motioned helplessly toward the bruises— "later, when I get back. I don't know about the others, maybe only if they want to know. Then…then tell me if you still want me, because once you hear it I'm not sure you will. Most of the time I never do." My voice nearly broke.

"Of course, Hayden," he said softly.

He left, and I stared after him. Was I crazy? If…_he_ realizes I had told another soul he'd stalk me and murder me.

Maybe that was all the more reason. I could get my revenge, I wanted to face him and hurt him more than I cared about taking care of what he began… Fucking sick bastard, he deserves to die anyway.

But after all, Carlisle _did_ just break me in. No one had ever done that to me before. My insane, relentless self-hate was no longer an obsession. The crazy desire to end my life was gone, replaced by sorrow and worry and some mild self-pity. The man had shown himself for the first time in months. Besides, he was just a memory, even if the taunts never did leave the echoes of my head.

Shakily I sat up straight and swung my feet over the side of the cot that had been set up. I pulled off the gown and put on the same clothes I had dressed myself in that same morning: my favorite pair of running shoes, jeans, and a close-fitting tank top underneath a dark red sweatshirt. I wiped off the black streaks of mascara that had run over my cheeks. I didn't bother putting on more makeup; did it matter anymore? Looking good to impress a person is just a desperate, senseless attempt only people with no self-respect do…

Then again, look who is talking. Me? Self-respect? Nah. Suddenly I'm acting like I've had it all my life, when before I had the knowledge of it as the knowledge an opossum has to not cross a road.

Huh. This forgiving-yourself-stuff seems to come out pretty cool, doesn't it?

I then took the rucksack, feeling relived to throw it back onto my bed, and bounded down the stairs. I felt better than I can safely say I've ever been all my life. I felt ecstatic inside, just to feel this free.

Naturally, everyone was gathered at the bottom. They all looked stunned at how happy I was, especially since Carlisle had told some of them what happened. What had clicked in my head hadn't obviously clicked in theirs.

Jacob waited by the door, wearing a full attire instead of just shorts and a shirt. He wore a sweatshirt as well. After all, it was cold and wet outside, I just realized.

He said as kindly as I think he could, "Hey, care to join me for a walk?"

I eyed the wet atmosphere outside. Then shrugged and nodded. I had a hood and amazingly fast speed to get out of pouring rain, anyway.

I murmured my thanks to Bella, who still looked bewildered, and gave Edward a hopefully meaningful look. I think he understood, even though I'd still like talk to him afterward.

Jacob opened the door for me and we went outside. His dog smell still brought my teeth on edge, but it was more bearable now.

"So what are we doing?" I asked him casually as I threw on my hood and dug my hands in my jeans pockets.

"Not anything in particular, I just wanted to let you know I feel really bad about—about what I did, and want to make it up to you."

"And what's that?"

"Just a better understanding for you of who I am, what I am, and why I acted like that to you that night. I didn't know, you see." He paused to see how I'd responded so far.

I looked at him, waiting for him to go on. So he sat me down on a slightly dry log and began to tell me about himself.


End file.
